How To Deal With Debbie Downer & Live Positively

How To Deal With Debbie Downer.

“Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues.”- Steve Maraboli.

Debbie Downer. I remember the time where she took the liberty of showing up and entering my space. There was that time she showed up at work. And at a dinner party. Oh and there was that time I could hear her behind me as I was standing in the Monday morning coffee line.

Who is Debbie Downer you ask? Debbie Downer refers to someone who frequently adds bad news and negative feelings to a social setting, bringing down the mood of everyone around them. At some point or another, I’m almost certain that Debbie Downer has shown up in all of our lives. 

I personally cannot stand the negative energy of Debbie Downers around me. In fact, there have been times where I have had to stand up and leave a room simply because I cannot stand the negative energy infiltrating my personal space.

Over the years, I’ve developed some strategies to deal with Debbie Downers in different social and professional settings. I wanted to share my key learnings and strategies with you here:


“If you realised how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.”- Peace Pilgrim 

A positive mind leads to a positive life. I try my best to be consciously aware of my thoughts. This creates a heightened awareness when negative energy and thoughts do enter my space.

I find that adopting a simple gratitude practice each morning has enabled me to start my day in the right headspace. It could be as simple as stating three things I feel grateful for in that moment, such as waking up with good health, a great gym workout and enjoying my morning coffee. Starting each day with a positive mindset enables me to me better identify and block out negativity when it does enter my environment.  


“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”- Jim Rohn.

Unfortunately, there are some people in the world who are just negative. It could be the friend who can’t help but to constantly gossip and speak negatively of others. Or perhaps you have a colleague who is constantly complaining and bringing down your mood.

The types of relationships you have with people can have a significant impact on your health and well-being. If you surround yourself with positive people, their energy and outlook will have a positive effect on you. On the flip side, if you spend your time surrounded by Debbie-Downers, it will only be a matter of time before their negative outlook will begin to rub off on you.

Be selective about your inner circle and surround yourself only with people who will elevate you and take you higher.


I’ve learned that there are certain situations, such as in the workplace, where it can be difficult to avoid Debbie Downers. I’m sure we’ve all come across that person in the office who can’t help but complain about anything and everything. Sometimes in these unavoidable situations, it’s best to confront the person directly or speak to their Manager, so they are able to provide feedback and help manage the situation. 

At other times or where this is not possible, the best solution is to block out the noise – literally. Remove yourself from the situation and move to a different area. If this is not an option, try investing in some noise-cancelling headphones. There are some wonderful solutions on the market such as these Bose headsets which can go a long way.


One of the best ways to deal with Debbie Downers is to develop positive practices in your life. I personally find that my best and most positive days are when I rise early and dedicate the first 90 minutes of the day to myself. Whether it is practicing morning meditation or a boxing session to get your blood pumping, find that works for you, and do more of that.

What are some of the practices you do to maintain positivity in your life? I would love to hear your thoughts- please leave your comments below!


  1. Carly Orson
    February 21, 2020 / 10:17 pm

    I give my dog and cats a hug every day, and walk dog every morning and evening, weather-permitting.

    • Lara
      February 22, 2020 / 5:11 am

      Such wonderful practices to stay grounded and positive every day. Thank you so much for sharing, Carly!

  2. emely
    September 29, 2021 / 3:40 pm

    LOVE this article. THANK YOU.

    • Lara
      November 8, 2021 / 2:13 am

      I’m so happy to hear that Emely! So happy to hear you enjoyed the read!

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